BENDS AND THE BEEMER PART 3
Having enjoyed the Red Rock Rendez-Vous so much in 2005 it is time to do it again and another
year and Safari has been sidelined to the 2001 Beaver Marquis wonder coach! This is RV’ing to a
level of decadence associated with the Orient Express. Step on board and if it’s not yours you are
going to be green with envy.
This year we leave on time and on Thursday morning. All’s well, the BMW has been fully secured
and there will be no repeat of last years disasters in the Haulmark. Houdini will have trouble
escaping from these lashings and sure enough we arrive in one piece with the Beemer upright.
“The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round”
Usual arrival sequence and now await the set up of the “micro brewery”. Lots of familiar faces from
last year and a whole load of “newbies” and over the statutory “few beers” we hear their life
stories and motorcycling experiences. It seems the “2” motorcycles of the 50 year old are either
the Harley or the Beemer, one being the choice of the motorcyclist and the other the “wannabee”
Having both, I leave you, the reader to identify which way you choose to go.
Motorcycling encompasses all lifestyles and income brackets, and money will not make you a
better rider but it will allow you to ride better machines in nicer surroundings. Or, you can scare
yourself more on a ridiculously expensive ill handling toy. Just because you can afford it doesn’t
make it the right bike for you. …… and equally if you can afford it you can afford the lessons to
ride it properly and safely. Still on my pet rants when you know 70% of all motorcycle fatalities are
head injuries how can anyone of a sane mind be so stupid as to ride with a doo-rag? When I
instruct I advise people to buy the most expensive helmet they can afford, my favorite being
ARAI, both for fit and comfort. $100 head = S100 helmet, $500 head = $500 helmet, Doo- rag =
brain dead! Just imagine the little stone that cracked your car’s windshield, that you never saw
coming……? what is that same stone going to do to your dental work when it smacks you in the
teeth?…….. a lot more damage than the cost of a full face helmet!
Back at the bar we meet new Beemer owner’s who are now into the camping thing and are fairly
gung-ho about the fun of sleeping on the “grassy knoll” despite owning luxury yatchs berthed at
San Diego…… well you do it your way………….
The following morning some grumpy faces in “tent city” or “Everest base camp”, as trying to be a
cuckooned moth overnight in a sleeping bag, while forgetting the ground sheet, and trying to
emerge as the brightest butterfly in the garden doesn’t quite crack it! Glad my intercom is not
going to be filled with “You ***************< YOu never told me ************< You***!!!!
Time for some riding, however, a quick note from Brenda, “It’s amazing how some women can be
so friendly one evening, and wake up hating you the next morning because they slept on the
ground and you slept in your coach, especially when there is a motel just around the corner…..”
Same arch, different day
Today we are going for the 250 miler!….. not poss on the HD, HA, FH, whatever you call them.
Through Bryce, up the Escalante Grand Staircase on to Torrey, then westbound and eventually
picking up “89” back to Panguitch.
Why do they shoot the signs ?
Fantastic ride, some superb bends and some that can take you by surprize so as always, be fast
where you can, slow when you don’t know, and above all be safe and smooth. Take a passenger
and talk…… see the difference it makes to your riding……..rabbit, rabbit= I know what I’m doing,
Oh sh*********************!= I have no idea, and I’m either trying too hard to impress you or
Me, or BOTH!
This is FUN !
Well the ride is over and the micro brew is in full swing again and more people have arrived,
including a couple who are also riding a K1200LT. He has done the MSF course, and now wants to
be an Instructor. The wife has given her blessing and sent him out to find the next steed as they
are now without the usual parental commitments and are looking for some fun. He comes back
from the motorcycle shops and presents his case for the defence and she says she “will take it
under advisement” and then tours the dealerships and renders her decision ……. BMW, take it, or
leave it! How many times in life do you get that lucky???? What an understanding wife????
Where do I get one of these???? BUT, I have one ALREADY!!!
Our new friends arrive on time (I like that) for the poker run, which is almost the reverse of our
personal route from yesterday. Usual poker rules, go here, go there, what is?, get a picture etc,
…. get a picture with a State Trooper
Off on “89” and find our first bonus card “Utah State Trooper” and then some gentle fast riding
65-95? no, no no, …… we never went over 70…… yeah right!! Rules of today’s game, you want
to be an Instructor, just follow MY LINES, don’t get showy, I’m showing you! It’s not a race….
honest, ……… so I’m spending a lot of time in my mirrors as I watch rake’s progress….. yes the
boy can ride, but he is overbraking coming into the bend and apexing too early with the result
of a wide run out. Nothing dangerous but if we put the speed up we are going to get into a zone
that may be uncomfortable.
Free Wife ? must be a Mormon thing !
We stop for lunch and see the most ridiculous sign …. but this is UTAH! Debrief the morning ride
and now this afternoon we are going to put the speed up a bit, so remember, brake in a straight
line come deeper into the corner, brakes off, corner with either body weight or countersteer, apex
later, more power at the apex and hold the gear longer, NO short shifting, got it? Follow me.
We now move up hill through some fabulous sweepers in the Aspens and “my boy” is super-
starring and I’m impressed. Higher up the mountain and the bends are getting tighter so its
about time for “Scotty” to “give it all it’s got Captain”…. so I start double shifting and forward
and out, through these delightful bends. As we exit one WFO, (technical expression), I glance
in the mirrors and see “my Boy” on perfect line some 100 yards back, at the same time as I look
forward (and the headphones are screaming), I see a Deer, A DOE, a DEER , a female Deer, RAY
………., ME, a name …..FAR …. there is nowhere to RUN! SO ……. A brake cable pulling thread…….
LA ……. a name that follows high-side…… TI …. a touch of ABS ……which will bring us back to…….
DOE… as the second of these wild arse animals jumps in the road which I can now swerve round
and bring us back to normality. (thanks to Mary Poppins and BMW for the ABS)
……… the ride continues uphill and as we round a bend at the summit we meet a cattle drive with,
cowboys, dogs, horses and about 300 head of cattle and all the excrement that they can create!
Didn’t need ABS this time but a cautious descent follows before the road is clear and we can
The Ski Jump
We ride the ridge and I’m lucky that I can remember some of it from yesterday including the
“Ski Jump” and some other weirdo bends. Later back in the bus I give my man credit for his skills
and I sincerely hope he did do the Instructor course as he certainly has a lot to offer.
Just REMEMBER, if YOU want to be an INSTRUCTOR, always REMEMBER, what was it like the first
TIME YOU tried it?
TONY DOWN, Brenda, the Beemer and some deers…. and Dave and Leslie
Don’t forget those October articles, this one is No 50!