STANLEY I PRESUME ? RIDING A CAN-AM TO THE END OF THE EARTH
Posted by Tony Down at 11/16/2007 6:36 PM and is filed under Vintage Motorcycles,Vintage Bikes,The Falklands on a CAN AM 
STANLEY I PRESUME ? RIDING A CAN-AM TO THE END OF THE EARTH
A TRILOGY
It was Saturday April the 1st and 64 Squadron were beginning to emerge on the balcony of
our transit accommodation in Cyprus where we were on APC which, for those not in the military
is Air-to-Air Gunnery from the mighty F4 Phantom using our 6 barrel Gatlin gun which fires 6000
rounds/minute of 20mm shells. Pretty impressive huh? You’d better believe it! 100 rounds/second
.. you don’t have to hit anything just saw through it. "Go Ahead PUNK, Make my day!"
Anyhooo I digress again, maybe some flying bedtime stories as we get nearer to Christmas. So
as bleary eyed members of this elite fighting force gather to discuss last night and life in general
the radio comes on with:
“This is the BBC World Service, here is the news, The Falklands have been invaded and the Foreign
Secretary, Lord Carrington, has resigned. A large force of Argentinean troops, supported by aircraft
have invaded………………..”
At that point the Sirens suddenly went off “BASE ALERT…. BASE ALERT …. BASE ALERT …… ALL
PERSONNEL REPORT TO THEIR PLACE OF DUTY”
We are looking at each other and wondering what the f*** is going on? Is this April Fools? Over!
Transpires the Falklands have been invaded and Carrington did resign, but the BASE ALERT was
a practice and we were not involved. Several hours later we find out where the Falklands are.
a practice and we were not involved. Several hours later we find out where the Falklands are.
Maggie Thatcher issues strong discourse to the “Junta” and tells them there is a 200 mile
Falkland Protection Zone in force and any Argentinean Warship sailing in the zone will be sunk.
Nice idea, except our nearest nuclear sub was in Gibraltar some 7000 miles away. However plans
are made for WAR. QE 2 is converted into a troop ship with a heli deck and the RAF sits and waits.
Not much we can do on the fighter side as the runway at Stanley is only 4500 feet and we
usually take off on 9000. But to show willing 2 Squadrons are deployed to Ascension Island on
the equator, the mind boggles! One of our trusty Vulcan Bombers is eventually dispatched to fly
from the UK all the way to the Falklands and bomb Stanley airfield. God knows how many air to
air refueling brackets that took and the bombing was successful cratering the runway.
The sub makes good speed and arrives in the zone with a glowing reactor and immediately sinks
their only Battleship “The General Belgrano” Shortly after that the might of Navy sea power
arrives and we retake the Islands with about 300 lost lives and about 12 ships sunk by the Argie
Air Force with iron bombs and exocet missiles.
However the British flag flies once more and after our engineers have laid 6000 feet of matting
to make a runway our Phantoms deploy to the end of the earth, and yes it is flat, and you can
fall off the edge!
Sir Rex Hunt's car with Flag. Yes, it is a London Taxi
About 3 months later I arrive as No 3 in charge. What does this mean, 36 hours on duty, 12 off,
36 on, 12 off. Arrive after a miserable 14 hour flight in a C130 Hercules, and by the time it takes
to get out of the aircraft we are in a blizzard. Duty arrival party with free booze provided by HM
Customs. Unusual? Never been given anything by Customs but this is all the illegal confiscated
alcohol they have stocked up. "Rot Gut Supreme" and I watch the liquid eat the center out of an
orange ring in my punch and then start to melt the glue down the cup! Imagine that! Some time
later and a few more of these rocket fuel concoctions I am talking to the Station Commander
when I take another swig and continue the backward momentum thereby falling on the floor.
A really impressive start!
6 a.m. and in the pitch dark and cold of another Antarctic blizzard I’m outside the “Coastel”, our
accommodation ship, searching in the gloom for anybody I know who will drive me to Ops. About
30 of the military’s worst Landrovers slowly set off across the boondocks at the speed limit of
5 mph. In truth you couldn’t go much faster as it’s all rocks and peat bog.
Briefings over I’m fairly clear that as transport is at a premium the only time I get a vehicle is
when my 2 immediate superiors don’t want it….. huuuum, we will see about that ….so in the bitter
cold I trudge down to the MT section and see what I need to do.
First thing I notice is 12 Can-Am dispatch rider enduro bikes, which I had seen before at Earl’s
Court in London when they wanted the Army, RAF and Marines to have an indoor arena trial on
enduro bikes!!!
“Who’s bikes are those” I enquire
“They are all U/S and nobody knows anything about them…. We have a big box of spares but we
haven’t got any motorcycle trained mechanics”
"Well wrong again Flight Sergeant, your looking at him!”
So now armed with a bunch of these I commence the building of one, which…. Let the record
show… will hereafter be called “PE1”.
(Ed note, some of you may remember Suzuki produced a fairly vicious little 250 which was the
PE, which stood for Pure Enduro), but mine has the designation of PUBLIC ENEMY NO 1, all will
be revealed in a later episode.
The bike is quickly fettled up to scratch and my helmet and boots arrive from the UK.
By now after intensive testing I can now do the 1. 2 miles from Ops to the Coastel in around 2
minutes despite the speed limit. As I often explain to the RAF police as the “Man” who makes
the “Decision” and gives the “fire control orders” you had better believe I can make it to Ops
in 2 minutes or your arse just might be history when the bombs fall and we haven’t got a
fighter airborne”
“Yes Sir, keep up the good work”
“Thank you Corporal”
Squadron Leader Tony Down RAF
Comments