AROUND THE WORLD IN SCRUGS WONDERJET



                                               

Going up!...... 3rd floor Lingerie, restrooms....

 The Tornado as it is, and was called, was a fairly remarkable bird. Before it ever took to the skies
a group of engineers, scientists and an assortment of others with strange credentials came to
Boscombe Down to test out some of their wacko ideas.

 At this point it is on the drawing board and is called MRCA (Multi Role Combat Aircraft) First lunatic
idea NO PILOT! just 2 navigators or system operators? ..... but they explain..... we will use the
TSR 2 technology which had NO manual reversion on take-off, yes, fully automated........ OK......
and now we are developing Autoland so in the future the aircraft will take off and land
automatically and during it's mission phase that will be done by the auto pilot and TFR
(Terrain Following Radar) linked through the fly by wire computer technology.

 Here is a picture of the front cockpit. 3 TV screens and that was about it. Anything you want to
know is available on demand or in an emergency will pop up all by its self by itdself by iiitssseeelllf
by itseveerlff as nothing can go wrong, go wrong, go wrong!

 Nice idea don't see it myself, but the theory is there, it's like the Morris Minor V the Ferrari. In one
you just have a speedo, fuel guage and thats it. Green light comes on when you are out of oil or
the engine stops, red light comes on when the fan belt snaps, alternator goes or the engine
stops. Very simple. In the Ferrai you have a guage for everything, pressues, voltages, volumes,
temperatures and anything else the manufacturer could throw in to confuse you...... so this is
now not sounding quite so dumb.

 The aircraft is built and is called the TORNADO, it becomes a world beater as a bomber in the low
level role and is a very powerful threat to anybody that upsets it's owners! However, this multi
role concept still drives the Ministry and they are determined that the Air Defence forces will have
it whether they want it or not!

 

 So along comes the Wonderjet, it's longer, taller etc, etc. We call it the "nearly jet" nearly goes
as fast as the Phantom, nearly carries as many missiles, nearly has a radar and as a quantum
step forward costs FIVE times as much! In all this amazing development somebody forgot one
small thing....... some steps!! So at 25 million a copy here we have a fighter you can scramble into
at your home base where there is a purpose built loading platform but on arrival anywhere else
you are stuck in the cockpit until the window cleaner happens by and lends you his ladder!


 We manage to sell it to the Saudis (lucky me!) and now as a promotional deal we need to do a
world cruise to try and get someone else to buy it. We are the second Squadron to be equipped
with the beast so when rumor control tells us there will be a "world cruise" we think we are in
the running. Well our sister Squadron got the round the world deal and we picked up a long
distance trip to Malaysia and also a 10 day stint in Goose Bay Canada. Third prize was a 20 day
trip to Goose Bay!





 Our turn comes, Day 1 to Cyprus, Day 2 to Omman, Day 3 all the way to Malaysia. When we get
there we will be staying on Penang Island, truly beautiful, taking part in some exercises to show
the Wonderjet's capabilities and then giving an air display before setting off on the return run
some two weeks later.



My Balcony




The Hotel Pool

  Lots of fun to be had on Penang and a superb hotel on the beach. I even caught a Barracuda in
the straights which we gave to the cook who made some fantastic sweet and sour lumps out of
it then rebuilt the fish.




The 20 lb Barracuda


 

 Time to show them the Diamond Nine and then some individual impressive stuff from our salesmen!










DUMP, DUMP...GO!

 All too soon we are on our way back across that Ocean for NINE hours with our Tristar Tanker
who also takes all our luggage and groundcrew as despite being a tanker it can still take
hundreds of passengers and all their kit. This leg is to Bahrain and man it is dull with blue all
above and more blue down below....and there aren't even any clouds to play in!



What's in your Wallet?

 The Tanker drones on and we follow but after a long long time we ask the Tanker if he will go a
bit faster as we are getting bored. He obliges and the speed shoots up and we can see at this
new speed we will knock a whole hour off the flight plan....... regrettably this doesn't last as the
Tanker Captain announces,
 " Gentlemen I'm afraid we are going to have to slow down as the roar of the engines is spoiling
the passengers enjoyment of the film"




 You can imagine what we are thinking especially as it's our bloody groundcrew!

 Finally the last refuelling and then max warp to Bahrain which we can nearly see.  After landing
find our dispersal and shut down but no groundcrew and no steps. Wave at airport workers and
they wave back! no, no, we want some steps...... nothing ..... so eventually, nothing for it swing
round on the canopy and try and make it to the wing..... now gingerly find somewhere to jump
down the 8 feet or so to the ground in all your flying kit, what a wonderful way to travel?



Out of Bahrain on the wing hoses

 Following day back to Cyprus and then the short 5 hour hop back to the UK.




The last leg with a VC10 and here comes the cloud


TONY DOWN