CHRISTMAS TRIAL & KITCHEN NIGHTMARES


 

 Here we go again! That time of the year when I get to show all my culinary skills or otherwise as I
attempt another full Traditional Christmas Lunch. Through the wonders of television and the increasing
number of cooking programs I'm surprised we are not all Master Chefs and holders of many Michelin
Stars. The only Michelin things round here are fitted on the No excuse Cub.

 Daily the television assaults the brain with all the "how to's" for dumbarses concerning all kitchen
matters as though this is a first time experience in the catering department. I wonder how my Grand
Mothers and theirs before them ever coped without any of this non stop brainwashing...... but they did!



 

 Of course this year I have been unable to outsource some of my traditional British fare due to financial
reasons and also not having a handy British store locally to get all my personal Christmas favorites.
No Paxo stuffing this year, or Haywood's pickled onions, and no Branston for the cold turkey days or
sandwiches. As I'm the only Christmas pudding lover no Mrs Peek's either and no Christmas cake to
take on shooting trips in the New Year.
 
 The turkey is currently and theoretically dethawing in the fridge but I'm never that impressed with that
as within 24 hours of serving its normally still as hard as a boulder and will end up in cold water in the
sink. My sous chef went shopping yesterday for all the fresh vegetables and when I inquired where
the Swede were she pointed to the crisper where I found 2 very large turnips!! Poor yes? but I still like
swede and not cattle fodder.

Never mind the "The Christmas Eve Trial" will soon be underway and I'm checking/observing the
very slippery "Chimney Pot" section which doesn't get too many cleans!




A good entry for this year's event




A jovial mood at sign up and the Rider's Meeting (Ho, Ho ...Ho) 




Some sections were difficult to walk in the conditions





Kris Kringle, with a good line, records the first "clean" on Chimney Pot
in the Christmas Eve Night Trial




Joulupukki from Finland with a cautious approach on Chimney Pot



  

Santa takes a nasty "5" on Section 2 "Swiss Chalet"





Saint Nick makes "Rooftops" look easy




French rider, Pere Noel, crosses the boundary for his "5" on "Fir  Trees"




Scrooge (UK) in a spot of bother on the steep drop offs of Cozy Comfort 



 

Local rider Richard brought the revamped JUMBO but was disqualified
for "excessive gardening" in the sections



 

As expected Father Christmas ran out a clear winner


 Well now its Christmas morning and soon time to start thinking bird and stuffing and veggie prep but
there are a few other matters to attend to outside. About 1900 last night another traveler turned up with
RV and sleigh to stay a week!  We had the park plowed yesterday but Lloyd seems to have hit the
electric stand on the pull through slot. Needless to say that put the power off on Slot 1 and with no
power to the water lines heat tape that has frozen solid!  With a family of 5 in residence and all taking
showers I now have to run water from another slot on a daily basis to replenish their tanks. Strangely
another festive traveler arrives tomorrow so I have to check their slot in case Lloyd has had a double
Whammy! Shoveling snow and running water lines is not exactly a pleasure when the rest of the world
is ".....dreaming of a White Christmas"
 
 The morning moves on and its now 1030, the bird was suitably prepped and mummified with festive
stuffings, all hand made by yours truly, the first batch of veggies have been prepped with the bullet hard
swede all cut up and waiting in lo-lurk are all the spuds and parsnips for par boiling prior to roasting.
Just the sprouts and leeks to clean and as I like them crisp and nutty they will not be on the stove until
1400 as I'm aiming for 1430 as the sit down time. Sous chef will be on mashed pots, the green bean
thing and sweet corn for the microwave.


 

Stuffed and bagged




Now thats Swede !


The Dangerous cocktails (limit 4) are lurking in the wings, so time to douse the sugar lumps in brandy
and add the cherries.





The cubes are in


 Bird in, remembering not to close the latch this year! Swedes they are a boiling and the Rv'ers have
water. First round of clean up complete, more logs brought up, fire lit, Christmas carols playing on the
crisp air and the leeks and sprouts are in their pot. Christmas Cocktail No 1 in hand let the day
commence.


 

Sous Chef, Brenda, ready for her part


 1345 bring pots and snips to a rolling boil, turkey looking good, swede mashed, buttered and
seasoned and CC no2 has vanished! 1400, clean up Sous Chef's debris, remove bird and start
sprouts and leeks, CC no 3 in hand! Fryer switched on, table laid, guests playing pool.


 

Spuds & Parsnips to the rolling boil





OK Swede, the beatings will continue!

 1430, bird carved, all veg ready, second call for pool players to SIT! Last CC consumed as they are
very Dangerous!!! Blow out begins, and this year I actually remember eating it and can honestly say
I'm looking forward to left overs. Time for the Christmas crackers, either the CC's are working too well
but I have to explain the simple art of crossing arms and pulling crackers and then the wearing of
ridiculous hats!



 
 
How to ........ Christmas crackers

1530- insensible... more pool, many fire logs, old films and chocolates later another Christmas Day is
put in the archives.







TONY DOWN