GETTING A GRIP

 

With the first round of chemo kicking the crap out of me and making me feel very sorry for myself I think I’m coming out of it and getting a tougher attitude as I have to fight or this will be a very one sided battle.

While I might not be up to pounding out those miles on the bike I can at least paint the gnomes and frogs, do some weeding, and go and check the lakes for fish.

This morning starts with a complete refit. All bags, tubes, bits and bandages are removed ….. the refreshing warm shower water flows freely, old age and death are in the bucket and sweet smelling joy is restored. Now all I’m hoping for is this dreaded embarrassing leak to dry up and allow me to walk freely without unexpected falls of soot!

The leak continues and is infuriating as well as undignified and I wonder just how much longer this will last? My bum is now very sore and looking at where they made the cut there surely can’t be too much left to come??? Give me strength!

Seems I’m confined to the house until this goes away, yes, I want to fight but its difficult when you can’t make any headway with what you want to do.

Another poor night’s sleep for no apparent reason, must get on and do something …… anything!!

Here we are, Saturday 7/20/19 and not 1 mile on the odometer this month! Gardens look awful, grass is yellow and needs mowing, my dianthus died and the bloody arsebine is back!

Need to charge the batteries on the Safari, plant some more salad seeds, and start the repainting. We will see what gets done.

A recap picture of my “4th of July” recovering from the surgery and a whole load of thinking!

Happy 4th of July

That sums it up !

Well back to the tasks, yes the batteries go on charge ……

Something done at last, ……. now the seed bed ……

Another row of radish, and more lettuce

Back in the Shade Garden time to review what needs tarting up on the painting side.

A scruffy giant Travelocity Gnome

Gnome junior

A frog that “went a wowing go”

A badly painted Ladybird

Well we will see how these turn out

 

Still Alive!

TONY DOWN

 

 

 

 

 

 

ABOUT THAT CUCKOO ?

ALL Cuckoos will be SHOT on sight!

First dose of 3 days of Chemo to see if I can shift the Cuckoo of its nest in my liver ? A reasonable nights rest and no chemo side effects so must be thankful. Just a little discomfort where the Port was fitted and the needles are still connected.

Friday lunchtime and back into Cortez hospital to have those poison chemicals and drip removed. The nurse who did it has something similar going on and I guess there must be something in her family as her father recently passed but he refused to have the “bag” fitted.

Saturday and no significant pain as  such, and the stomach muscles are beginning to strengthen up again after the battering they took with that “Michelin” surgery!

Not a thing of beauty!

Cycling wise not quite up to getting back in the saddle yet but back to see the surgeon on Monday so maybe the “all clear”.

While I’ve been in hospitals and the “patient” that bloody arsebine has been growing furiously AGAIN and is really annoying me!!!

Right now I’m still desperately tired and just sitting around like a limp rag. Three operations, much indignity, some pain, and very little get up and go. Perhaps tomorrow as the first chemo free day may see a brighter spark.

No more of that for 10 days

Maybe a good day to repaint some garden gnomes and frogs that our extended winter ravaged. Very tired and low energy for Sat and Sun but maybe just a little brighter today. Weight continues going down and now at an all time low of 177.8 ….. not sure this is good!

The lower tube that was cut which houses the dreaded tumor is leaking downward and causing a lot of unpleasantness but at least something is coming out and clearly can’t go on forever as it must eventually dry up. If I could feel I could walk around without embarrassing myself then I could probably get on and start doing some of the things I like to do.

Need to get into a more positive vibe, get my fishing license and go sit by the lake.

 

Cuckoo you are toast!

 

TONY DOWN

 

THE BATTLE ROUND 2

 

After two days and nights of fighting with leaking bags it was back to the hospital this morning for the last of this series of operations to fit the chemo valve on my upper chest and remove a nasty looking polyp that had popped out of the main stoma!.… ugly little bastard.

Another very tiring night for all with Brenda doing her very best to keep this thing from leaking. The hospital gave us some more supplies and some better glue.

Tomorrow is Day 1 of the chemo after about a two hour talk over all things cancer and chemo. Multiple drips and bags and 2.5 hours of infusions and chemicals through the port or (oil change filler cap) and then sent home via Cortez to pick up another load of chemo pills to deal with nausea and other discomforts. After the 2.5 hour bombardment I get a “flush” and then another 2 day supply with its own pump and carry case are attached and these will run until Friday lunchtime when its back to Cortez to have them removed and that will be the end of session 1. In two weeks time back to Cortez who will draw blood through the same device and send the results over to Durango before I start session 2 on 7/24/19.

So far, no side effects of which there could be plenty! Now what I HAVE learnt is that it isn’t liver cancer but rather colon cancer that has migrated to the liver and now behaves like the infernal Cuckoo chick that pushes other birds chicks out of the way to feed and finally kicks them out of the nest.

Cuckoo chick kicks all the other eggs out of the nest

The huge cuckoo still feeding from its adopted parent

A bit sore and battered and way down on sleep.

TONY DOWN

 

 

 

 

ROUND 1 OF THE CANCER BATTLE

Wednesday 7/3/19 and off to the hospital to be dismantled so that the drains don’t get blocked up.

Hideous garment

Into the hospital gown (what a ghastly item!) and lay around as more and more needles and IV drips are made ready. Eventually I’m carted off and its into surgery with a vague idea of what’s coming. A solid, deep, anesthetic  and then the micro holes for disconnecting our old friend  “mien arseholen”. First in with the cameras and tools and then pumped up like the Michelin Man.

The before and after, yes it is like that

With stomach walls blown up and clear of intestines surgeons can start cutting and making the “stomas”   ……..these it transpires are anything but pretty!! The prime one will be for the main exit to the bag which I will be wearing up to around Christmas and then if the rest of the treatment is successful it can all be reconnected.

Don’t ask

Some time later the brain tells me I’m in a Bavarian forest and up ahead I can see some blue light through the trees but its blurry and there could be animals or people …… can’t be sure…….. stumble on,

light increases, …….. yes, people! Make a short appearance back on Earth then drift off again.

All night long and about every 3-4 hours they are injecting me or taking more blood and giving me pain IV drips, but I don’t care and sleep on.

Thursday and my diet changes from clear fluids to fluids! This includes ice cream and jello. When I finally come round I realize the magnitude of what they have done ……… I feel as though I’ve been kicked in the gut and other places …… and the mind boggles as to how they got this catheter in here and even worse how do they get it out?

Various pains come and go including one in the shoulder caused by the anesthetic and a cough also caused by same but that really hurts the gut. They certainly take good care of you and you know it must be quite serious surgery to warrant this much attention and checking all vital signs so frequently. Doctor comes and goes and says no more blood samples at 0500. Fireworks from the local park and a night on the history channel which is one of the few in focus.

Overnight the bags start leaking and then in round 2 its just full of gas and very painful.

Friday another day of constant checks and different style of bags but these start leaking. Well at least I’m on light food of soups and scrambled eggs and the coffee is quite good. Seems I’m going home tomorrow.

Dreadful night, can’t get to sleep, leaking bags, seemingly constant interruptions for vitals. Must have moved the bed angles and its very uncomfortable …… give in!

I think I screwed up the controls??

Saturday and another set of bags that don’t leak…… home at last but very weak and tired.

TONY DOWN

 

 

IT HAS TO BE SAID

Many years of working the front garden and all the non stop weeding seems to have paid off and I think I can say that this year it is looking its best ever.

Yesterday a few more mini dianthus to finish off the top side of the center bed and finally time to plant my radish and lettuce seeds and a bit more routine weeding.

Saturday again, and time for some more routine weeding of the dreaded arsebine to keep it all spick and span. Not the best time to plant things in the ground with temps at 80+ but certainly nice to be out there and enjoying it despite the Cancer problems

Cycling is beginning to pick up again despite everything and I should be through the 900 mile marker by close of play today. Well that did not happen so try again today 6/30/19. Finally got out there and now rolling into July at 906.70 ……. now I seem to be fighting Cancer as opposed to the weather!

Another near sleepless night which is knocking me sideways but I did get some weeding done and just need to finish off the rose bed this morning.

Rose bed done and dead headed. The short ride gets done but I’m feeling weak and tired. Another awful night follows and some feelings of depression this morning as the unknown manifests itself. Fortunately  the Hospital rings so things are moving along and we are on are way in for an appointment.

Now Wednesday morning and I’m scheduled for surgery this morning. Not the most pleasant but it has to be done and is the first step down what could be a long road. It seems I will be in recovery at the hospital for about 5 days before they fit the chemo valve. Wish I knew more of what is going on as I have that sixth sense that I’m not being told everything.

Finished the weeding yesterday and also mowing the lawn. The seeds I planted have all germinated and the rest of the beds are ablaze with color.

Wish me luck

TONY DOWN