Only two weeks until I’m on the table up in Denver undergoing surgery! Side effects are still a pain, but a way of life, and seeing the body falling to pieces is not a pleasant daily experience.

The mind mulls over every scenario, questions the what ifs, and tries to put a brave face on everything, but in truth is worried, scared, and not at all feeling “that all is well”. Maybe its because I don’t know all these people in Denver. For them its just another surgery, for me more a life or death event over which I have no control and seemingly no say in.

Having this done the first time didn’t seem that big of a deal, although I wasn’t expecting so much pain from the onslaught of compressed air and the ugliness of the final “stoma”. However, I did accept the necessity of the op as my system would have become totally blocked up left to its own devices.

Perhaps the vicious side effects are whats causing my reservations about all this as hair and teeth are falling out and other normal services are now anything but. Poor hearing and speech, lack of sensitivity of touch and the sudden loss of balance do nothing for my confidence.

Yes, I’m shit scared I might not wake up in the aftermath of this surgery. I have fought my way through the 12 sessions of chemo but my mental and physical resources are coming to their end. I can only hope there is enough left to endure this and recover.

Well you hear about these “things” I but this one is one of the nightmares I can do without!!! The hospital in Denver rang with the details of my upcoming visit which they claim was for LIVER Surgery and NOT what had been agreed or even discussed. No, No, No!!!! I remember the story of the man who had to go in for a leg amputation and when he came round they had taken the wrong one!

Needless to say with three hospitals involved in my survival someone has screwed up somewhere and it would seem my first visit to Denver was a complete waste of time as it was all discussed and liver surgery, which can only be done in two sessions, with a 6 month recovery was considered a COMPLETE non-starter as there is no guarantee that it won’t come back and that a daily pill can keep it under control.

We must get this sorted this week and get everybody’s assurance they know EXACTLY what we are removing and reconnecting! The last time we were in contact they said the surgery would be “non-invasive” and robotic

Doesn’t look non-invasive to me! looks more like a complete engine and gearbox change

One week left, time to get on the blower and get these “Professionals” all on the same page …… and that will be MY PAGE lest we forget!!!








Here I go again

News is in from Denver and the “op” is now planned for 2/3/2020 and I fly up there on United out of Durango …. but have to find a hotel for the night!!!! So book in Monday morning and get ready for the surgery.

Not really looking forward to any of this other than to be shot of the “bag” for good and maybe overcome the last of the side effects. They do say some could last forever!

Be very happy to be shot of this!!!

and this uncomfortable eyesore

Mentally an up and down week with lots of mixed feelings and emotions. After 7 months of all this it is difficult to come to terms with any of it. Some things can be done easily, others require a lot of effort and recovery. Last weekend I took the school skiing party to Telluride and was allowed to ski as a “Chaperone” ……. another chemo surprise was how my perfect sense of balance was suffering and although I didn’t fall I was certainly unsteady and had to think hard the whole time. Not the thing of “grace and beauty” I used to be, but there again I haven’t been on the slopes for four years!

The operation fills me with a lot of trepidation, I’m not feeling good about any of it. Questions I’m asking myself do not have any positive answers…….. and when do I get released?   ……do I have to go back AGAIN to have the mini bag removed ?  ……. do I go back after all that to see if its healed correctly ?…….. too many questions and not enough answers. Morning breathing has been difficult now that the running nose and eyes have just about stopped. Energy remains low and any effort requires pre-planning and rest time after the activity it makes you think…. is this all there is? Teeth are going missing at an alarming rate, and my scalp is itchy as my hair continues to fallout!!!  Looks like I’ll be wearing a hat from now on.

Plenty of hats, better get them washed!

Time to clean up and over to the Montezuma for afternoon pool. 20 players today and I get a first round bye, which with this number of players means 4 wins to be in the money and 5 to be either first or second. Win my next three so I’m in the money again after what seems like a long time! Happy with that.

Despite the Cancer it DID feel like the concentration was coming back at last





Well it all went very quickly from rushing round in the last week of School getting all the medical issues completed to the very pleasant relaxation of NOT personally putting up any decorations or outside lights for the festive season.

The last of the chemo, the ongoing side effects, and what I expect will be some upcoming surgery, all said don’t put the decs up as you might not be able to take them down!

Last year the cables were still FROZEN to the ground in April!!

Still no news from the Denver Surgeon, no comments from Durango and no idea what is happening.

Meanwhile we will take down the inside decs today and get them back up in the loft. Decs all down and finally after a lot of head banging on loft beams its all stacked and put away.

Monday and the last day of my winter break, a few things to go into town for today, more wood chopping, and should be good after that.

All complete and ready for Day1 of the School driving 2020





2020 THEN ?


The clock struck ….. and the year clicks over

Being positive, one has to assume that “2020 MUST be better than 2019″…….. of course in my case that rather goes without saying. The news after the first colonoscopy at the end of June was anything but good with Stage IV Colon Cancer which had already migrated to the liver.

Fairly quickly the medics swung into gear and I was in hospital at the beginning of July for the slice’n’dice operation and the dreaded bag fitted.

What fun!

Now time to begin the Chemo which was initially going to be 8 treatments and then maybe radiation. The chemo, although overall unpleasant, was bearable and after 4 sessions the tumors were down by 20%. Then along comes a new Doctor and he adds another load of poison to the mix which ramps up all the side effects. Some of these side effects are really bad including, loss of hearing, voice going all gruff, pins and needles in the fingers, cracking of fingertips and skin, constant running nose and watering eyes ………along with the constant tiredness, and  thinning of the hair ……… thanks!

Just what I wanted

Seeing the damage this was doing to me the Doctor reduced the dosage of this new bag of tricks and eventually I was off it by the end of the 8 sessions. Up to Denver for a few quickie days although I didn’t really see or hear anything to tell where I was going other than to tell me I would not be doing radiation but rather another 4 sessions of chemo.

The “End of Chemo Bell”

The last 4 extra sessions were all completed by the Wednesday of Thanksgiving Week and then a couple of weeks before a second colonoscopy to see if the flue brush would go all the way round, so to speak, and then on the last day of School over to Durango for another MRI and a CT scan. That was all done by 12/20/19 and since then I haven’t heard a thing! It has to be said the Durango MRI was a lot more civilized than the “Blacksmith’s Shop” of the Denver set up.

BANG ! BANG!  …..non stop for nearly 40 minutes!

Now that we are in 2020 we will no doubt hear something soon.

Looking back on 2019 I did achieve something by getting the Beemer up to spec again and even had the 12,000 mile service done along with fork oil seals

Looks so much better

With the weather being so bad little or no cycling became the norm for the first 5 months of the year, and indeed it snowed on 5/21/19 which was our last day of school before the summer break. A few miles went in the books for May and June but then the shock of cancer and the ramifications therein put somewhat of a damper on things!

The Roubaix in parc ferme

It was hard work and a lot of determination to wrap up the year with a very modest 1113.32 miles. That was my fourth year on the bike and the total now stands at 11,390.93 which is almost half way round the Equator so I guess another 4 years to hit that goal.

My kind or race with a few pit stops

Some of you may remember that at the beginning of the year I embarked back on the “Nutrisystem Diet” and the weight came down from 215 to 175!!!! first 20 lbs by Nutrisystem and the next 20 care of Cancer and Chemo ?

The saving grace was the Doctors said I could drive the bus if I felt up to it and it gave me something to look forward to which I believe is essential with this sort of ailment.

Sounds like a plan to me!

During the early part of 2019 I ended up driving the School Ski Party on a fairly regular basis. The organizers said I could also act as “chaperone” for 2020 which would allow me to ski …… that will be good!

Still there

So after 12 treatments of three days apiece, (36 days of poison) I’m still here …..