ALMOST THERE

ALMOST THERE

ALMOST THERE

Kinlochleven

Funny the things you miss when you have been away from your native land for many years. The “to do”
list of eats and goodies is forming, and one that I shall endeavour to work my way through on arrival in
the UK.

In no particular order I will be most likely be buying a Bowyers or Walls Pork Pie in the airport and a
tube of Coleman’s English Mustard to go with it. Reminds me of my time in Saudi Arabia when as you
taxied in on the riotous British Airways flight from Heathrow to Dhahran you finished your last “Serious
Drambuie” and alighted onto the tarmac flicking the crumbs of Walls finest as you made your way
down the steps en route to Customs.

The famous Pork Pie!

Well, that’s new with mustard inside

Other necessities will be a bottle of Haywards Pickled Onions which I can eat like candy and a large
chunk of really good cheddar and stilton.

A lovely Stilton, now where’s the Port ?

No doubt en-route to Kinlochleven there will be time for a “Pub Lunch” somewhere off the M6 so to
delight Brenda it will have to be Scampi &Chips and for me a pint of Boddies! I can always remember
Boddington’s Pubs as being the worst in the nation, with wrought iron chairs with legs of variable
lengths, the appetizing array of “Baps” in the plastic bread bin with dead lettuce and a collection of
flies, some still buzzing and other on their backs. The arrival of the foaming pint in the straight glass
with the “Boddies Bee” on it  and as you sat and watched the liquid clear and the debris fall to the
bottom time to drink in the ambiance of the fine ale house that had not seen a duster this side of
WWII. Time for a couple of pickled eggs in their leather jackets and just maybe a Cornish pastie. If you
were foolish enough to try the “Bap” the white dusting of what you assumed was flour was likely to
stick to the roof of your mouth and was nearer to Portland cement and had the adhesive qualities of
the proverbial and the blanket !

A Classic Boddie’s Pub

Boddington’s Laughing Bitter

Washed down with a couple of these

…..and a Cornish Pastie

Well, just ONE more !

So aiming to arrive in Kinlochleven circa 1800 hours time to remember how to order a pint of
McEwans. Memories of doing same at the Highlander many years ago, the ritual went something
like this;

“A pint of McEwans please”
“You mean the Heavy?”
“Whatever”
Round two, “A pint of Heavy please”
“You mean the Export?”
Round three, “A pint of the delicious Export please”
“You mean the Special?
Sometime later, Round four, “A pint of Heavy, Export, Special please”
“UUUuuu, trying to be funny Jimmy!”

Breakfasts have their own special place and being in Scotland I see plates of Mallaig Kippers but as
you can’t get sausages here in the USA some good old British Bangers will have to feature somewhere
as I sure miss them.

The British Banger

Never having been a Whisky drinker the only one that I did enjoy was Glenfarclas when I think I drank
a whole bottle one night and all the way through to breakfast while putting the world to right. It was very
smooth but “whisky and kipper” burps while riding are not that pleasant!

Be VERY careful with this one!

Thursday is the rest day and time to try the James and see how it performs. Signing in and I assume
another burst of lunchtime drinking. I may have to drive to Fort William to pick up some new equipment
as I don’t fancy getting wet! The idea of riding in a jacket and rain gear seems somewhat alien, but of
course if you haven’t got it then you will perish on the moors. I did buy the super stay dry seal skins as I
know the boots will last about 1 section before they are full of water, but as we only do 2 days I will
survive. The donated Outlaw Tool belt will work well and cart tubes and pumps and all other essentials
so hopefully I will get round without too many incidents and stay on the assigned route. I never got lost
in Scotland but I remember some of the moorland riding as being less than easy and the sections
were often a refreshing boost knowing you were still on track.

You know Who….. well I’m on the same bike

3 weeks today and it will all be happening……..

Pipeline, 39 years ago was my first ride up this one

Still time for anyone to “Pledge” on the Cleans for Cash basis

Tony Down

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