Nowhere to Hide-Nowhere to Ride

Nowhere to Hide-Nowhere to Ride



My name is CAGIVA and I am Italian by birth and my parents are MV Agusta and Husqvana. My
birthday is difficult to find, some say it was 1979 although most people say I’m more likely to be
1980 or even later but I appear to be an illegal immigrant with no papers whatsoever. My
problem, with advancing years is that nobody wants me and I have nowhere to ride. I have a
brother in Albuquerque who is fostered by Jim Cain but he has the same problem and cannot
get any exercise in AHRMA events, so on behalf of the 2 of us I send you my letter and hope
you may be able to help.
I came with all the right credentials, Twin Shocks, Drum Brakes and a huge air cooled motor.
My present foster family found me on e-bay, fell in love with me, and as an act of complete
insanity adopted me for $182.50. The previous foster parents could not bring me out of the
Mountain Hideaway so my new family took the luxury RV up the mountain behind Colorado
Springs and collected me from Mountain Man “Vern”
Now Vern once lived in civilization in Phoenix and states he is a MMI mechanic, but between you
and me I don’t think he went to very many of the classes! Despite Vern’s claims I was an
abused child suffering frayed cables, broken levers, a bashed and leaking tank bunged up with
bondo and duck tape, and if that wasn’t enough I had been ridden through wet cement which
had dried on my cases and bash plate. If you were a Dentist you would have put my wheels in
braces as Vern didn’t have a spoke key and as each spoke snapped he bent them round the
next one for support! So with 8 broken spokes in my back wheel I had a bit of a crooked smile.

This is me on arrival in Phoenix again.

Soon I’m in pieces and going through some major surgery. My tatty plastics are in the bin along
with a mile of gummy electrical tape, cables, bars, levers, throttle, chain and sprockets. Next
part of my “extreme makeover” was a spa treatment of paint stripper to remove all traces of
cement and 25 years of grime. In truth I think this was my first bath!

Being an Italian lady I needed a boob job so the tank went off to be reshaped and painted.
My seat was beyond repair and was replaced with a TYZ unit from Japan, much slimmer and
neater and doesn’t make my **** look big!
With all the nasty matt black paint gone I’m treated to some tender polishing of yokes, forks
and engine cases. My frame and exhaust are given the Da Vinci veneer treatment of show
chrome and now I’m ready for rebuild with new Renthalls, cables, Magura levers, Miller stays
and Alloy Fenders and of course the Rubbermaid dish drainer splash guard. My worn out
sprocket is the same as the Kawasaki ZX9…… amazing! So now here I am looking lovely in
gold /purple and chrome. My wheels look good, but now I want them changed for gold ones
that are round.

I need to be ridden, please help.



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