OTHER THOUGHTS

 

Here I go again

News is in from Denver and the “op” is now planned for 2/3/2020 and I fly up there on United out of Durango …. but have to find a hotel for the night!!!! So book in Monday morning and get ready for the surgery.

Not really looking forward to any of this other than to be shot of the “bag” for good and maybe overcome the last of the side effects. They do say some could last forever!

Be very happy to be shot of this!!!

and this uncomfortable eyesore

Mentally an up and down week with lots of mixed feelings and emotions. After 7 months of all this it is difficult to come to terms with any of it. Some things can be done easily, others require a lot of effort and recovery. Last weekend I took the school skiing party to Telluride and was allowed to ski as a “Chaperone” ……. another chemo surprise was how my perfect sense of balance was suffering and although I didn’t fall I was certainly unsteady and had to think hard the whole time. Not the thing of “grace and beauty” I used to be, but there again I haven’t been on the slopes for four years!

The operation fills me with a lot of trepidation, I’m not feeling good about any of it. Questions I’m asking myself do not have any positive answers…….. and when do I get released?   ……do I have to go back AGAIN to have the mini bag removed ?  ……. do I go back after all that to see if its healed correctly ?…….. too many questions and not enough answers. Morning breathing has been difficult now that the running nose and eyes have just about stopped. Energy remains low and any effort requires pre-planning and rest time after the activity it makes you think…. is this all there is? Teeth are going missing at an alarming rate, and my scalp is itchy as my hair continues to fallout!!!  Looks like I’ll be wearing a hat from now on.

Plenty of hats, better get them washed!

Time to clean up and over to the Montezuma for afternoon pool. 20 players today and I get a first round bye, which with this number of players means 4 wins to be in the money and 5 to be either first or second. Win my next three so I’m in the money again after what seems like a long time! Happy with that.

Despite the Cancer it DID feel like the concentration was coming back at last

 

TONY DOWN

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