TAPING UP, “DON’T PANIC MR MANNERING”
TAPING UP, “DON’T PANIC MR MANNERING”
British readers who may be in my age group will remember the classic comedy “Dad’s Army” all about
the WWII exploits of the Home Guard. Our little band of reservists were led by Captain Mainwaring, the
local bank manager, and a host of the town’s shopkeepers and others who were ready at a moments
notice to keep the German hoards at bay in the event of an invasion. Perhaps the two most memorable
phrases that were in every episode were the one from L/Cpl Jones (Clive Dunn) who always called
the leader Capt Mannering.
“Don’t panic Mr Mannering !” and the other one with Pvt Pike who always had some lunatic ideas that
he would propose to the Captain which always drew the response “You stupid boy”
“what if we went up there etc”
How does any of this relate to trials and Trialsmaster duties you ask ? Well with just a few days left I
feel I’m a little behind my own planned schedule, hence the “Don’t panic Mr Mannering” and the other
which other trialsmasters can attest to is the “willing helper or bystander” who keeps offering silly and
unrequired ideas and info…….”wouldn’t it be better if we went up there, round that one then over this”
which draws my response as the Captain, “You stupid boy!”
1/2 way then, after 9 weeks of climbing, crashing through jungle and undergrowth, fruitless journies
of non-discovery to a point where I’m closing in for the kill with only the monsoons to screw up my river
Friday and now we are only one week away, a bit like Christmas, excitement, anticipation, will they,
won’t they ? Will I have enough energy left to ride ?…….. and I still haven’t ridden the loop myself but
having walked close on 50 miles, put in over 200 man hours I should be able to remember most of
Local man Kirtis came out again yesterday with his new Ossa Explorer and thankfully does not
behave like Pvt Pike but did make me think about the Grassy Knoll which is yet to be taped. Perhaps
I should run this section in the opposite direction ?….. worth a look, might be even better.
Yesterday afternoon after a couple of early beers and some food at the Brewpub back to the carnage
at Honey I’m Home and while I’m sorting through plywood panels for section boards a small white
dog appears from nowhere ……. I’m not making this up, very wet and bedraggled and was obviously
sheltering from the storm……. bit too big to fit in a purse ……. I hope it found its way home.
Back out this morning and Sunday 1-4 all carded and ready for action. I have now officially run out of
Begins and Ends cards but I have everything else so the show goes on.
4 to lay out but I’m out of Begins cards
Splits in and yet more clipping
Under the bridge for the start of “Doorway” into “Yabba Dabba Doo”
which are continuous subs
Changeover to 3, “Yabba Dabba Doo” with the emphasis on “Dab”, the
Ends cards can just be seen
Start of Sunday 4
Splits on the “Croc’s Back”
The afternoon is slow and heavy going, nothing seems to be coming together as I want it but the
struggle continues and Section 5 gets finished. Extra hazard thrown in for the 3’s & 4’s and a load of vegetation and thistles removed. Lots of glass and nails in this dump type section. Kirtis has been
thrashing the Ossa up what should be the Graded Hill and tells me its too easy? !! ??? Well on the
walk out tonight I see a deer trail on the slope and I’m thinking this one is where ITS AT !!
Start of 5, “The Welder & Picket Fence”
Novices and Beginners line in 5
Thistles and scrub removed in 8
9 gets finished
The investigation will continue tomorrow!
One week to go and I’ll be signing everybody up and getting ready to join the parade down at the High
School. Let’s review where we are at close of play yesterday. Day 1 sections have 8 complete and
taped and carded with Enchanted Garden and the reserve section to be cut on Monday. The last three
down under the 4th Bridge will not be done until Friday morning to stop the kids and fishermen from
Day 2 sections should be finished over the weekend with Grassy Knoll and Tin Can Alley as my next
two and then moving on to a revised Graded Climb. I seem to remember seeing this one on my first
walkround but thought it might be too hard, however having seen the Ossa make nothing of my No1
choice it caused some major rethinking. Always difficult to find the right blend with a graded hill.
Graded Hill MKII
Saturday morning and time to cut more boards for the Graded Hill, lawn to mow, and then maybe a
looksee at the “new” graded hill. Today’s horoscope seems to reflect the last 10 weeks!
|Hi Tony! Here is your Daily Horoscope for Saturday, August 3|
Your commitment is rarely questioned, but right now you need to make a bigger show
of your willingness to stick around and keep up the good work. Persistence is the key
An afternoon stumble up and down the MKII Graded Hill and I think it might work especially if I throw
in an “S” turn at the bottom to slow everything down.
a left, right, left sequence should be a challenge….. even for an Ossa !
Getting hot, clouds building up again so time to get Tin Can Alley up and running to finish my day as
a serious thirst is on the horizon.
Sunday 7, “Tin Can Alley” taped and carded
Tin Can Alley ……. done ! a really nice section
……. and then the thunder came and yet another downpour which the forecasters are going for over
the next few days but by next weekend it looks good. Another look at the Grassy Knoll and I think I will
Sunday morning and still haven’t got my bike out to ride the loops and see what I’ve missed so I’m
getting impatient to get out there. First continue with the mission and tape up Grassy Knoll (reversed)
thank you Pvt Pike…….. and then some serious tree felling on the Graded Hill MKII, thank you, Ossa.
Overnight the situation on the Graded Hill has Escalated (play on words) and the Top Brass has
called in our local reservist elite. The Captain unveils the new TOP SECRET plans which he briefs
the team on.
“Right men, things are not going well over in Dolores and Top Brass have
told us to get over there and build a new Graded Hill ……. we will be going
in behind the blocked in gun emplacement trailer and then straight up !”
The defences at Lost Canyon Creek
“From the trailer we will build a series of turns up to the fir tree to slow
down those Ossas, Gassers and beater Betas “
“We can leave these dummy routes around should those ITSA boys get a whiff of what we are up to”
“Mr Mannering, Sir, we could use my van if it would help” ……”Good idea Jonsey go and load her up”
Jonsey’s butcher van is loaded and brought to Lost Canyon
“Remember its where the front wheel stops”
Boards all done time to load up and get out there to hit the objective. This morning I’m hoping to fix
the Grassy Knoll and then sort out this MkII Graded Hill. Yesterday’s survey showed the potential for
linking back up with the loop as it comes off Tin Can Alley so I now need a bypass for section 9 where
I had given full path width for the section.
Last set of boards ready to go
A silent “Checker” on the section 9 bypass
Now remove all the previously laid red and blue as we are going in reverse and start again! Drop
down entry for everybody and most should turn high up on the knoll before coming back into their own
lines. 4’s ride out below the big rock with 3’s on a sail up across the dirt. 2’s jink right, left and up while
1’s get an expert challenge. This was the Grassy Knoll !
Downhill start in the soft stuff
Exit lines up the Grassy Knoll
High Noon and I’m mighty hot and soaked but now its that Hill !! What I want is a SLOW speed start
and none of this 3rd gear Ossa nonsense so time to devise a “nadgery” entry for Casey’s Climb. Start
will be by the gun emplacement trailer amid the debris and then into a double 90 left around the end
of same. Soft dirt adverse to the 5 boards and then tricky 120 right into another adverse to the 3’s. If all
is well another 90 left to scale more loose to the 2’s where I have removed half a fir tree. Still going?
ever upward in more loose, but not as bad to the 1’s and the eventual Finish of Hill…….. ENJOY !!
Keeping it tight for the entry to 10
The fun boards are in place
Graded Hill MKII complete!
“Well done men, the Trialsmaster likes the new hill”