“What news ?” cried the King, for he was bored and much vexed with USPS ……..but today they did
proclaim that the said Stealth Tank had made its way to their enclave in Dolores. Being only 800 yards
from the King’s palace the said offering would still take another 5 hours to arrive as it was
“out for delivery”

“Summon Shadetree, and tell him to bring Autosol and much elbow grease for Today is The Day !”
The King was not to be trifled with in these matters, and despatched a Knight to the Post Office rather
than wait the extra hours.

“Look Shade, this is where we are at,  Candy Apple needs a good polish,
and if you do a good job I’ll reduce your lashes from 40 to 10, itsa win win
situation, Oh, and by the way put that f******  hat on the right way ! ”

 Other loyal subjects were charged with other Stealth matters and pursued the King’s wishes with
much diligence rather than face the fate of others that had incurred the King’s displeasure.

Merlin had done well in California casting more magic spells on the tank and it was given to Shade
for his task of much polishing. Other items not pleasing the King were to be addressed on the fitting
and prepping of all matters Cub.

Sir Antony was greeted by a hand maiden from the court on his return from the Post Office and was
told in no uncertain terms that the riding of Candy Apple would require much attention to the new dress
code that the King had imposed for those riding this new charger.

“Prithy Sir Antony, but I only convey the King’s word and I am charged to inform you that the King thanks you for collecting the Holy Grail from the Post Office but henceforth the new Candy Apple may only be ridden
by Knights in Green…. so no more of this red shit !”

Candy Apple is brought from her stable, the tank is refitted, and Shade covers the entire beast with
a layer of Autosol as the “no touchy crowd” could not resist. Very soon the King’s Charger is ready for inspection and all is well at court.

Candy Apple awaits her tank

All covered in autosol

Strange how the King’s wishes from history follow our current path, as while we had no intention of beheading anyone, seeking multiple divorces or anything else our progress is similar to the Tudors.
We split from Rome (Ahrma) formed our own Church  (ITSA Mountain West) and welcomed other
previously outlawed religions of SWM, Fantic, Armstrong, Italjet, Honda TLR and Reflex into our fold.
We are free of Cardinals (trustees) and are no longer bound in a sacred union for ever more with VMX
or forced to use their limited real estate for our pleasure.

“I’m telling you itsa going to be GREEN so there !  ……. and what’s that
bloody frenchman doing in my court  ?”

” He is a baker m’lord and has the breakfast baguettes”

” If I can wear bloody British Racing Green so can they !”

Meanwhile back at court the King reviews the “Green” policy  and Wolsey is ordered to sign Robin
Hood as he is always in green and failing that get that Emma Bristow girl as she is wearing green
for Ossa.


“Sire, like the Sheriff of Nottingham we can’t find Robin Hood either and
the Bristow girl says we don’t pay enough”

 Back at the stables Candy Apple is ready to go and after a few minor adjustments is out for a test ride.
Seems very compact, the snowshoe pegs are comfortable, and it turns well….. Now about that 270cc
motor……. when do we expect to get one of those ?

Nice job on the polish Shade

No leaks !

Seat pins removed

Testing complete

 The King is impressed by Candy Apple and considers a ride on the Beginner’s Line after a little
instruction from Sir Antony.

“Why do they stand up ? “

Back at the Palace Wolsey seeks an audience to discuss Sir Antony’s terms for riding in Green and
also the King’s desire to “have a go”.

“Highness, Sir Antony would be happy to use the new Clice clothing if the Royal coffers can afford it ……. now about this Beginners ride, I have to
advise against it”

Candy Apple outfit by Clice

 While the King ponders yet more expense and the possible cost of an all singing and dancing 270cc
engine other requests to put money into the coffers are coming in but Wolsey has some yet more reservations about the Monarch’s test ride.

” I have to ask Sire, is that really a DOT approved helmet ?”

 The King follows the instructions and is soon out checking lines and walking the sections. Wolsey
gives helpful guidance in his role as “minder”

“Line is everything M’Lord,.. Red on the right, and Blue on the left, and no splits”

  Very soon the King is bored with the 4 line and tries something more challenging but has to step off
in the dust when he loses control. The King is not happy with the commoner’s “High Five”

The King steps off in the dusty ruts of a 2 line section

 ” Sire, if I might explain …. the raised digits from the crowd does not
convey treason it is an internationally recognised symbol for failure in a section, be it Ahrma or ITSA”

 The King is consolled by Wolsey’s explanation and now as he is becoming grossly overconfident he challenges Sir Antony  on the 1 line with disasterous consequences!


The King, on Candy Apple charges down the 1 line but meets Sir Antony
on Superglitz and soon learns the maxim…     “Old age and cunning will
defeat youth and skill”

“Oh crap, I just knew that was going to end in tears ! ”

Henry gets another 5 and a  “Royal Arse Kicking” but no matter, one of
the many wives is on hand as a paramedic

 Suitably comforted, bathed and dressed, and with Sir Antony in the stocks for the evening the King
talks to Wolsey over dinner.

“I say Wolsey, apart from the two 5’s I rather enjoyed today……. how long
will it take us to get to this Turkey Rock place ? “

 Meanwhile Candy Apple goes through her paces to get ready for the next event at Turkey Rock Co, on
28/29 July and then two weeks later another double header here in Dolores.



What did you think of this article?

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  • 6/30/2012 11:38 PM Jose Bustamante AC wrote:
    Candy Apple is beyond belief.Really nice. I feel better about the beat-up std. tank on my TY 175. But the ex-Wolfy Sherpa T will have to have an alloy tank, since it too, is starting to sweat.
    Reply to this
  • 7/2/2012 6:19 PM Scott wrote:
    As always an entertaining story line and another superb looking trials bike!Well done Tony!!
    Reply to this
  • 7/4/2012 8:00 PM Sally wrote:
    Good job dad, enjoyed the Tudor twist very much! The bike looks great, cannot go wrong with metallic green, wish my car was metallic green now I think about it!
    Reply to this
  • 8/3/2012 12:41 AM Chris wrote:
    You might want to look very carefully at rubber mounting that alloy tank, as I would guess cracking may be a problem if you simply bolt it to frame.
    Reply to this
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